Photo By Strikingly Odd Media
The above photo is a true juxtaposition. You see me, gazing out of the window, peaceful and serene, pondering what this season of my life will be like, as I hold my newborn son, David. As the photo was being taken by our photographer at our home, my three year old son, Ronald was crying in the background and my husband was juggling the scene of watching us take the pictures, helping with props for the photos, taking orders from me, and tending to our toddler. All while I think to myself…this is a true adventure. My husband and I just look at each other with a sarcastic smile. Picture that!
I quietly try to zone out at times, wondering when I will sleep again, trying not to complain, but wondering what I’ve gotten myself into (insert “confused” emoticon). My toddler insists on watching YouTube on my phone, which has recently used most of our cell phone data, and since the baby was born, his potty training has taken the back burner, partially because of his anxiety, and partially because our ours. Not to mention, the almost impossible effort to show everyone in your house some attention. And for get about that hour you used to use to give yourself a home mani and pedi in order to save a few dollars that could go towards groceries or formula. No, I didn’t breast feed…it was too much for me. Date night? Wearing heels? The hair appointment every two weeks. Talking on the phone? Nope… Oh, don’t mind me; I’m just venting….
I love my sons to the moon and back. I’m still in awe that God would allow me to have two sons! Having two children is by far the most joyous, crazy, exciting, frustrating, satisfying, did I say CRAZY adventure ever. I’ve juggled many things at once in my past, normally keeping the objects of work, school, sports, business ventures, ministry, hobbies, and social life all in the air with nothing falling. However, being a sane woman, loving wife, present mother, determined dreamer, and first lady of a church is the epitome of honor and simultaneous struggle…The struggle is REAL.
Every part of me must be nurtured in order to maintain and have something to offer. While that sounds great, and politically correct in mommy world, it’s not always possible to be whole in every area. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a great goal, but not always realistic. In the past, I would say that it takes an extravagant amount of balance, prayer, and perseverance to do all that it takes for us to be a virtuous woman. But, I’ve recently embraced a new level of honesty with myself, and today, I say to the Mommy reading this: “Sometimes you just have to put one of the objects in your juggling act down. Gather yourself. Scream. Cry. Pray if you can. Then, pick it back up when you can. Do whatever you need to do to survive the moment.” THE STRUGGLE IS REAL…AND NOT TO BE DIMINISHED OR IGNORED!
Now, that’s honest!
My newborn is waking up now. 🙂
Gotta go! Thanks for visiting the All Things Woman Blog. Please feel free to leave some crazy, honest comments below.
Don’t forget! Put something down
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