I Remember like yesterday. When I first met Ronald, I had so many questions for God. I had not been in any type of serious relationship for going on six years. I was totally focused on my future and my relationship with God. At that point, nothing was more important to me than serving God, starting the next leg of my educational journey by getting my doctorate, traveling, and completing my singles “bucket list”. In fact, I had finally become settled with being single. But, that took lots of work. One of the main things that had to take place was that I had to become (more than) okay with ME. I had to discover me again. The “me” outside of relationships. The “me” who could balance being independent, but still allow someone to help me. The “me” who didn’t have to have all the answers, but could ride the waves of life in faith. The “me” who was satisfied with ME. Today, I encourage you to ask God the hard questions about you. Who are you underneath all the “stuff”? Who are you underneath the built up past hurts, pains, and disappointments? Who are you when the dust settles and you look in the mirror at the real you. Are you happy with what you see? Be real about that and begin to do the work on YOU. Whether you are single or married, I can’t stress it enough. Know who God created you to be, not just what He created you to do. Know the core of who you are so that you can be real with yourself. I remember when I first met Ronald. I had so many questions. But, the questions really didn’t matter. I should have been asking God about ME. My list of questions was long…
Is he the one?
How long will this last?
Will he understand my vow of celibacy?
What is his heart like?
What does he want from me?
What questions should I ask?
Is this FINALLY it?
Is there just one man specifically made for me?
Will he be able to handle all of who I am?
Is this my king?
Lord, how much longer until
I know for sure?
Lord, am I ready, just in case this is him?
At the end of the day, I was able to accept Ronald’s proposal (and God’s promise for me) because I had scratched the surface of who “I” was. As a single woman or married woman, the most important question you can ask God is, “Who am I?”, so that you can be able to articulate that to yourself and others, to own it, and to BE it! Constantly ask this question. It’s not a one time deal. We change all the time, but our core never will! In the tough times, remind yourself of who you are.
I pray that this blog blessed you, and I pray that you share with someone who needs it. Pick up your copy of my book for single and newly married women, “Adorned While I Wait” on Amazon. I love comments! Please comment below; I would love to hear your thoughts on how the message impacted YOU. 🙂
-Dr. Eboni Bell, All Things Woman Blog and Talk Show
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