The Struggle is Real



Photo By Strikingly Odd Media

The above photo is a true juxtaposition. You see me, gazing out of the window, peaceful and serene, pondering what this season of my life will be like, as I hold my newborn son, David. As the photo was being taken by our photographer at our home, my three year old son, Ronald was crying in the background and my husband was juggling the scene of watching us take the pictures, helping with props for the photos, taking orders from me, and tending to our toddler. All while I think to myself…this is a true adventure. My husband and I just look at each other with a sarcastic smile. Picture that!

I quietly try to zone out at times, wondering when I will sleep again, trying not to complain, but wondering what I’ve gotten myself into (insert “confused” emoticon). My toddler insists on watching YouTube on my phone, which has recently used most of our cell phone data, and since the baby was born, his potty training has taken the back burner, partially because of his anxiety, and partially because our ours. Not to mention, the almost impossible effort to show everyone in your house some attention. And for get about that hour you used to use to give yourself a home mani and pedi in order to save a few dollars that could go towards groceries or formula. No, I didn’t breast feed…it was too much for me. Date night? Wearing heels? The hair appointment every two weeks. Talking on the phone? Nope… Oh, don’t mind me; I’m just venting….

I love my sons to the moon and back. I’m still in awe that God would allow me to have two sons! Having two children is by far the most joyous, crazy, exciting, frustrating, satisfying, did I say CRAZY adventure ever. I’ve juggled many things at once in my past, normally keeping the objects of work, school, sports, business ventures, ministry, hobbies, and social life all in the air with nothing falling. However, being a sane woman, loving wife, present mother, determined dreamer, and first lady of a church is the epitome of honor and simultaneous struggle…The struggle is REAL.

Every part of me must be nurtured in order to maintain and have something to offer. While that sounds great, and politically correct in mommy world, it’s not always possible to be whole in every area. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a great goal, but not always realistic. In the past, I would say that it takes an extravagant amount of balance, prayer, and perseverance to do all that it takes for us to be a virtuous woman. But, I’ve recently embraced a new level of honesty with myself, and today, I say to the Mommy reading this: “Sometimes you just have to put one of the objects in your juggling act down. Gather yourself. Scream. Cry. Pray if you can. Then, pick it back up when you can. Do whatever you need to do to survive the moment.” THE STRUGGLE IS REAL…AND NOT TO BE DIMINISHED OR IGNORED!

Now, that’s honest!

My newborn is waking up now. ๐Ÿ™‚
Gotta go! Thanks for visiting the All Things Woman Blog. Please feel free to leave some crazy, honest comments below.

Don’t forget! Put something down

. 😘


19 thoughts on “The Struggle is Real

  1. Akira

    This was such a genuine post! Being a mom is such a crazy adventure in general, being a mom of 2 is such an adjustment!! I have learned that I have to accept the fact that I can be an amazing mom whose house is ‘lived in’ or be the super neat organized mom whose kids are restricted from living in order for me to appear put together! God knows and understands our struggle and wouldn’t give us more than we can bear! I tell myself that daily, lol, but when my one year old folds her hands to pray when she is going to eat an M&M or when she gets in te bed and says Night Night, I feel that all of the craziness is well worth it! Keep on going Mommies!

  2. Kendra H

    When I tell you that I will probably read this post everyday for motivation bc I understand completely how you feel. I too just became a mother of two (a 2 year old and 2 month old). I love being a mommy of 2 but it does get very hectic at times. I am a very organized woman who enjoys “me time” but all of that is no longer current because I use up all of my energy to be a wife and mommy. People always say you have to take time for yourself and you can’t lose yourself but that’s sometimes impossible when trying to adjust to new roles. Ive been married for almost 6 years and a mommy for almost 3 and Im still trying to adjust. Lol. However this is by far the most amazing time in my life and as crazy as it sounds, I would love to introduce one or two more babies into our crazy, hectic, busy but loving family! Thank you for this post, Eb!

  3. Tamela Shell

    Coming from a mother of a 13 year old and an 8 year old Eb, things get easier just hang in there. You have the foundation, just talk to Him if he pulled me through the “mommy Superwoman struggle” He definitely got you. LOL!!!!

  4. If I may so…IT IS SO REAL!!! I am at a new place in my struggle letting go of being Mommy, and becoming Mom. There is such a difference. You still want to control there lives and tell them what to do, but now I have to suggest what they should do and watch them make a decision, whether right or wrong, I still have to stand back(hands off) and watch. It’s not easy, but it’s time. I am greatly appreciative of this blog. I can see the place where you are very clearly as you are watching out of the window…..and wondering….what next Lord? And being super overjoyed, overwhelmed and excited all at the same time! Bless you.

  5. Tanisha Armstrong

    As a mother of 5 I agree it is REAL!! Yes mothers have a lot balance but it’s ok. Be the best you that you can in each moment. Know that reasons change and that none of them last forever. Ask for help when you need it. Surround yourself with good people. Know that God trusted you with a family, so you’re much more wonderful than you think,even in your worst moments.

  6. Javona B

    I am a new mommy and I would agree the struggle is real for me. Sometimes I ask myself will things be the same like before. But then reality hits how could it be before I didn’t have a baby boy. I miss those days sometimes but I love the days I have now with my baby boy. I really appreciate this post, it helps to know other moms are in the same boat. Thanks

  7. Terri

    Yes, the struggle is real.
    Think of your favorite vessel. Picture your favorite vase or pitcher… Not only is it a beautiful piece to look at but it has a purpose and a use, as is mothering. You my friend are a beautiful vessel.
    The role of the mother requires “in the moment living”. While scheduling helps to alleviate some of the confusion, it really just puts “order” into the chaos. Scheduling feedings, naps, baths, quiet time,story time, cuddle time, household chores, extracurricular activities, ministry, phone calls, and even showers become a way of life. It is our “means of survival” during this short season. As difficult as it is to find the kind of rest you were once familiar with understand that the time you spend doing all your motherly duties are and investment with the greatest possible return, you may ever earn. This time may seem to be a never ending struggle but it will quickly past and fade into the corners of your mind. Embrace every moment. These moments are equipping you in many ways for the time ahead. Escaping for five to ten minutes at a time to a quiet place will now do wonders whereas before they were only a tease. In these moments I pray that God will strengthen you and pour into you wisdom, creativity and energy you that you need.

  8. I really enjoyed this post. Keep up the great work!! The best advice that I received as a new mom with a one year old boy and a newborn boy was “Danita, lower your highest standards and raise your lowest standards.” That advice equipped me with the boundaries I needed to survive new mommy-ness ๐Ÿ™‚ Everything wasn’t amazing (I couldn’t thrive trying to keep that standard) and it wasn’t chaos (I couldn’t thrive there either). Again, you’re doing a great job!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. nikewrites

    โ€œSometimes you just have to put one of the objects in your juggling act down. Gather yourself. Scream. Cry. Pray if you can. Then, pick it back up when you can. Do whatever you need to do to survive the moment.โ€ <– This is the very real definition of motherhood! It's a moment by moment adventure! My daughter is 18 years old, but she is still very much my baby and I'm still mommy (especially when she can't find her accessories). I thought things would get easier as she got older, but they didn't. Things just changed. She changed, I changed and I had to learn how to adapt, become creative, or as you pointed out – let something go to focus on the moment.

    I think the best part of motherhood has been watching her grow and become firm in her beliefs and convictions. I listen to her talk about her perspectives on life or what her friends are going through (and the advice she's given them) and I'm in awe! I had something to do with raising such a bright and pulled together young lady! God trusted ME to nurture her!! That's the reward; knowing you were chosen, and your children are thriving! It makes every last part of the struggle worth it! ๐Ÿ˜€

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