I Remember…

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I remember

I Remember like yesterday.   When I first met Ronald, I had so many questions for God.  I had not been in any type of serious relationship for going on six years.  I was totally focused on my future and my relationship with God.  At that point, nothing was more important to me than serving God, starting the next leg of my educational journey by getting my doctorate, traveling, and completing my singles “bucket list”.  In fact, I had finally become settled with being single.  But, that took lots of work.  One of the main things that had to take place was that I had to become (more than) okay with ME.  I had to discover me again.  The “me” outside of relationships.  The “me” who could balance being independent, but still allow someone to help me.  The “me” who didn’t have to have all the answers, but could ride the waves of life in faith.  The “me” who was satisfied with ME.  Today, I encourage you to ask God the hard questions about you.  Who are you underneath all the “stuff”?  Who are you underneath the built up past hurts, pains, and disappointments?  Who are you when the dust settles and you look in the mirror at the real you.  Are you happy with what you see?  Be real about that and begin to do the work on YOU.  Whether you are single or married, I can’t stress it enough.  Know who God created you to be, not just what He created you to do.  Know the core of who you are so that you can be real with yourself.  I remember when I first met Ronald.  I had so many questions.  But, the questions really didn’t matter.  I should have been asking God about ME.  My list of questions was long…

Is he the one?
How long will this last?
Will he understand my vow of celibacy?
What is his heart like?
What does he want from me?
What questions should I ask?
Is this FINALLY it?
Is there just one man specifically made for me?
Will he be able to handle all of who I am?
Is this my king?
Lord, how much longer until
I know for sure?
Lord, am I ready, just in case this is him?

At the end of the day, I was able to accept Ronald’s proposal (and God’s promise for me) because I had scratched the surface of who “I” was.  As a single woman or married woman, the most important question you can ask God is, “Who am I?”, so that you can be able to articulate that to yourself and others, to own it, and to BE it!  Constantly ask this question.  It’s not a one time deal.  We change all the time, but our core never will!  In the tough times, remind yourself of who you are.

I pray that this blog blessed you, and I pray that you share with someone who needs it. Pick up your copy of my book for single and newly married women, “Adorned While I Wait” on Amazon.  I love comments!  Please comment below; I would love to hear your thoughts on how the message impacted YOU.  🙂

-Dr. Eboni Bell, All Things Woman Blog and Talk Show

Direct link for my book…

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=adorned+while+i+wait

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I Have a Dream for Queens

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I Have a DreamThis poem is dedicated to all the young princesses who will grow up to be queens.  It is inspired by the incredible advocate and game changer, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have a dream…

I have a crazy dream.  One that screams the screams of little girls, lost in false identities and lacking basic queen amenities like strength, dignity, strategy, and creativity.

Perhaps these have been hidden due to life circumstances, which blind young girls from opportunities and happen stances.

Happen stances of growing up without a father’s love to embrace her self-esteem. Growing up ashamed of the color of her skin, causing her face to look mean.

I have a dream….

I have a crazy dream of little girls understanding their worth.  Outside of their girth. The size of their breasts and their butts not being a factor, but the brain being the X Factor.

I dream of little girls growing up knowing the difference between a princess and a mistress.  Believing that she’s more than sloppy seconds or thirds.  More than some irrational adult’s words of downtroddeness and frown clouding bliss.

I dream of a day when little girls wear crowns, not frowns.  They wear crowns, not faces full of makeup at twelve, looking like clowns.  I dream of a day when what we look like is a reflection of what we feel like.  I dream that we feel royal…from princess to queen.

I have  a dream…

I have a dreams that princesses grow up to be queens.  Not just be queens, but act like queens.  Stack green like queens.  Follow dreams that scheme to change the world…girl.  You’re a queen.

See, the world told you that you needed to minaj like Niki and dance like Bey to be somebody.  No shade, because they’ve mastered who they are by far.  Much respect.

But here’s the problem. Music taught you that the best thing about you was your ability to control a man with what’s between your legs.  But, I beg of you.  That’s not right.  Yea, I said it.

That’s not right!  What’s right is what’s between your ears.  A beautiful masterpiece of a brain.  Hand crafted by a King, who by the way has your DNA; He was your Daddy all along.  He has been singing you sweet songs and He longs to be with you.

What’s right is your creativity and your capacity to strategize for nations, ruling in your domain; your purpose.  What’s your domain?  Well only your Creator knows that, so ASK.

But know this.  Your were created for such a time as this.  What time is it?  It’s time to help young girls take back their identity.  To grab a hold of every bit of their self esteem.

To realize that they are so much more than the world has molded them to be.  It’s time to dispel the lies of false identity, trying to be someone you don’t even know to be true.

Queens, it’s time to be you.  It’s time to unleash.  It’s time to let out the lioness, that some might call a beast.  But, don’t hold back.

Shout from the mountains of conversations, to hills of social media.  In classrooms all over the world, let your voice be louder than media.  Let your image and how you carry yourself be an essay to the nations, that your brain and your tongue is a treasure to be used, not to trampled upon by the world’s dictations.  Let your life be a truth dissertation.

Let Freedom Ring!  Let Freedom Ring!  Let the Freedom of your destiny RING.

Leave a Legacy. Live your truth….Like Queens…

Do you have a dream?

-Dr. Eboni Bell

http://www.DrEboniBell.com

 

 

 

 

WEARY

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Galatians 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

WEARY WOMAN

WEARY WOMAN

Are you tired of being tired?  Bombarded with others’ problems? Do you find yourself constantly trying to fix everyone’s “stuff”? Do you easily get burdened when you hear about someone’s problem and immediately become the fixer?

If you answered any of these questions, you may be on your way to becoming WEARY., but God is saying REST.

As loving and caring human beings, it is natural to sympathize and empathize with those we care about.  In fact, I’ve found  myself crying from watching strangers on television or at the movies because my heart connected with a situation or circumstance presented on a screen.  It is a natural reaction to see a problem and begin to search through the atoms of your brain to find “help” (a solution).

I want to propose to you that we have a very present help.  That help is God.  I know that you want to help others.  I know that you feel what others feel.  I know that you want to be there for them, and that is a good thing.  There are times when God leads us to physically DO something to help someone.  But there are many other times that we are to give that burden to the Lord, immediately.  When we try to step in and be God, we may be limiting someone else’s process with the Lord.  For example, if I always step in to save someone financially, emotionally, or physically, how will that person see God’s power?  I am not saying that God can not work through you, but I am saying to be wise.  Pray first, give hugs, and ask God for strategy.  Ask God how you can help.  Here are some ways we can help without over doing it, trying to be someone’s God, or giving something that we don’t even really have.

-Listen and Allow Them to Cry/Vent

-Take Them Out to Lunch

-Buy Them a Nice Card

-Pray on Their Behalf

-Fast About Their Situation With Them

-Help Them Shift Their Thinking to the Positive Things

-Check on Them and Follow Up

-Be a Support

-Offer Wisdom Through the Word

-LOVE THEM

Love does not always require you to DO something.  Many times, it requires you to just BE.  Sometimes, people just need someone to be there.  In the midst of your being there, do not take on something that you were never meant to take on.  This….is how we become WEARY..

Rest and allow the harvest of God’s faithfulness be revealed in their lives just like God revealed it in your life.  Let them have their encounter with the Lord without you blocking their view of the Lord by always trying to “save” them.  TRUST God.  He knows everything.  He candle handle much more than we can.  Be refreshed in truth.  God is able…

THANKS FOR READING AND I PRAY THAT THIS BLOG ENCOURAGED AND STRENGTHENED YOU!  LEAVE ME A COMMENT AND PLEASE SHARE WITH SOMEONE WHO NEEDS TO HEAR THIS.  xoxo #DrEbInsires #AllThingsWoman

BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

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“Beautiful Disaster” by Artist, Eboni Bell Follow I Dream in Color Art on Facebook to view more artwork.

Sometimes, as women, we get so caught up in what we “think” we are supposed to be doing.  We walk around with our Superwoman cape on all the time, when sometimes, we want to walk around with absolutely nothing on.  A t-shirt and panties and the most!  lol  I’m here to encourage you that it really is OKAY.  You can do just that, and in fact, you should throw you a batch of cookies in the over, pour you a glass of wine, and watch your favorite movie.  Mine is “Coming to America”.   Sometimes, you’ve got to just put everything down and enjoy the moment of craziness, disorder, and UNDONE.  Here is what I learned this week.

This has been a crazy week, but with God’s grace, I got through it! Dinner was awesome, boys down for the night, message for Saturday is complete…but all the laundry is not done and neither is my “to do” list. This week’s lesson…it really is ok to have some “t”‘s not crossed and some “i”‘s not dotted. Being a woman, wife, mother, entrepreneur, and minister is BY FAR not easy, but with some help, wisdom, prayer, and a few things on the back burner, it is possible. As long as my family is straight, my most important ministry assignment is on point.

Just wanted to share in hopes to encourage someone to just ENJOY THE MOMENT OF CHAOS.  Life is sometimes just a beautiful disaster…

Thanks for visiting ALL THINGS WOMAN BLOG and feel free to leave a comment telling us how you enjoy those crazy moments of UNDONE.

The Struggle is Real

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Photo By Strikingly Odd Media

The above photo is a true juxtaposition. You see me, gazing out of the window, peaceful and serene, pondering what this season of my life will be like, as I hold my newborn son, David. As the photo was being taken by our photographer at our home, my three year old son, Ronald was crying in the background and my husband was juggling the scene of watching us take the pictures, helping with props for the photos, taking orders from me, and tending to our toddler. All while I think to myself…this is a true adventure. My husband and I just look at each other with a sarcastic smile. Picture that!

I quietly try to zone out at times, wondering when I will sleep again, trying not to complain, but wondering what I’ve gotten myself into (insert “confused” emoticon). My toddler insists on watching YouTube on my phone, which has recently used most of our cell phone data, and since the baby was born, his potty training has taken the back burner, partially because of his anxiety, and partially because our ours. Not to mention, the almost impossible effort to show everyone in your house some attention. And for get about that hour you used to use to give yourself a home mani and pedi in order to save a few dollars that could go towards groceries or formula. No, I didn’t breast feed…it was too much for me. Date night? Wearing heels? The hair appointment every two weeks. Talking on the phone? Nope… Oh, don’t mind me; I’m just venting….

I love my sons to the moon and back. I’m still in awe that God would allow me to have two sons! Having two children is by far the most joyous, crazy, exciting, frustrating, satisfying, did I say CRAZY adventure ever. I’ve juggled many things at once in my past, normally keeping the objects of work, school, sports, business ventures, ministry, hobbies, and social life all in the air with nothing falling. However, being a sane woman, loving wife, present mother, determined dreamer, and first lady of a church is the epitome of honor and simultaneous struggle…The struggle is REAL.

Every part of me must be nurtured in order to maintain and have something to offer. While that sounds great, and politically correct in mommy world, it’s not always possible to be whole in every area. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a great goal, but not always realistic. In the past, I would say that it takes an extravagant amount of balance, prayer, and perseverance to do all that it takes for us to be a virtuous woman. But, I’ve recently embraced a new level of honesty with myself, and today, I say to the Mommy reading this: “Sometimes you just have to put one of the objects in your juggling act down. Gather yourself. Scream. Cry. Pray if you can. Then, pick it back up when you can. Do whatever you need to do to survive the moment.” THE STRUGGLE IS REAL…AND NOT TO BE DIMINISHED OR IGNORED!

Now, that’s honest!

My newborn is waking up now. 🙂
Gotta go! Thanks for visiting the All Things Woman Blog. Please feel free to leave some crazy, honest comments below.

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Don’t forget! Put something down

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Giving Birth

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Photo Credit:  Strikingly Odd Media

Photo Credit: Strikingly Odd Media

Giving birth is more than a notion. The birthing I speak of is natural and spiritual. When you are impregnated with a dream, a vision, a purpose…the conception is not always easy, the carrying is definitely not easy, and giving birth is beyond description. There are no words to describe the process of giving birth. But, I will try…

I am officially 9 months pregnant with my second son, and I truly can not wait to meet him! Is it because I want to kiss his little face, see who he looks like, get to know him, and lay him on my chest? ABSOLUTELY! But, it’s so much deeper than that. When God allows you to be pregnant, in the natural or in the spiritual, it is more than an honor. But, it can be physically, emotionally, and even spiritually draining as your body gives literal life to what you are pregnant with.

I don’t want this to be a long and drawn out blog, but I do want to say this. You are PREGNANT WITH DESTINY. You have a divine purpose and a calling on your life. In order for you to give birth to it, you will go through a process. My encouragement is that you not give up before God gets out of you what He put in you. It may get rough, you may have morning sickness, be extremely tired, irritable, and maybe even mean some days. But, let God take you through the process. I can guarantee you…it will be worth it.

GIVE BIRTH TO YOUR DREAMS! Then, you will be able to see the face of your dream, hug and kiss it, lay it on your chest, and it will look JUST LIKE GOD. 🙂

Thanks for visiting and I hope you were encouraged by this blog. Please leave us comments!

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Fall Fashion Fix!

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Research is not only for school, it’s great for fashion! Each season, I make it a habit of researching the latest trends as well as classic looks to incorporate into my wardrobe. By far, my favorite season to dress is FALL! You get to play with colors, put on layers, wear your hair down, and accessorize!

This year, try something new! Relaxed fit everything is in. Bright color tones as well as metallics and, of course, natural tones are always chic, no matter the season. Another tip is to use your summer tees and tops to layer over long sleeve button ups and turtle necks. Loose sweaters are hott as well. You can always throw a button up under a loose sweater and pair it with some skinny jeans and a nice bootie. High knee boots are always fun, and tights go with everything! Oversized everything is in!

Oh!! And GO THRIFTING! You just never know what you can find. Ok, I will be back with much more! Have fun and thanks for visiting All Things Woman!

Please leave a comment with your favorite fall finds and fixes. 🙂

Check out a few of my Fall Fashion Fixes from last season. I can’t wait to expand!

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